Friday, 8 October 2010

Vodafone: you bunch of wankers

That's it you fucker - that'll be the last time i call you. You've hurt me too many times.
You promised you wouldn't do it again, and i forgave you, let you back in, and how do you repay me??? By stamping all over my heart and soul.

This is what I would have put in the feedback survey for Vodafone customer service if it had given me the option rather than, "Out of 5 - how happy are you with the service you received?"

All I want to do is send a video via email. The phone tells me that no server is found - OK, so I call the "helpline" - "OK sir, I'll send you through a PDF with the instructions" - I follow the instructions, which are - check the settings are correct (which they were) and turn the handset off and on again (which any fans of the IT crowd or anyone who has an IT department in your office, is 99 times out of 100 times the advice you're given for any technical problem). So I turn it off and on again, and with a renewed hope I press send again, and those same words appear... NO SERVER IS FOUND. Another call and another PDF down the road I'm enraged and bending the handset within an inch of it snapping in half.

The last time i remember doing something like this out of frustration, was with my NES controller, playing the first Simpsons games (possibly the hardest platform games I ever played)

In the ads its all goes so simply! A click of a button and it's away. NO ITS NOT - YOU F**KING LIAR! NO IT'S NOT Every time I press the send button in the vain hope it's going to do what the sodding thing is meant to, it comes back with the words NO SERVER IS FOUND.
"But I swear it was different this time," I heard my phone say as it stares up at me... urging me to hit send just one more time. And though I detect a slight hint of sarcasm, I hit the button again...    SERVER IS FOUND. - the wankers

I hate you Vodafone - I hate you. And your smiling fuckwits in the ads.

In protest, I'll be uploading stuff the old fashioned way. Cables suit me fine. I'll wait it out for my next contract to come along, and then get a phone that won't make me look like one of those chimps in the PG tips ads.


  1. I hate Vodafone more than you. They are a complete and total bunch of cunts and arse holes. Thieving, robbing, low life cunts of all cunts. I seriously hope their management all get cancer of the face.

  2. I hate Vodafone even more than you. They are fucking useless cunting wankers who are not fit to run down the bloody stairs let alone run a shitty mobile phone company. Calling them arseholes is an insult to arseholes. Hope they die horribly and painfully.